Reason Why Never Visit a 5 Star Hotel
Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: " tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing"--George Bernard Shaw

Keep all your troubles in your own pocket..
But make sure that the pocket has a hole.

Truly affectionate people never go out from our Life easily..
If it happens they will comeback at right time without expectation..

Have a happy life with affectionate peoples.

Love comes only once for those who know what Love is!
But, Love comes again & again for those who know what life is!
Hard to accept but its true!

Have a lovable life..

Lessons in Logic
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.



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I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.



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Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
So why practice?



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If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?



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Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.



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How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?



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Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.



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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.



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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.



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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.



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The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.



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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.



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Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.



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"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep



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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning



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"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk



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"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours



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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.



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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.




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A bus station is where a bus stops.



A train station is where a train stops.



On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say........

Men VS Women (no offense)

How a man withdraws cash from ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away

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How a woman withdraws cash from ATM:

1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for ½ mile
24) Release handbrake
25) Drive on..
Dreamz abt me..

The Ultimate Facts About Men and Women
Men

1. All men are extremely busy.


2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.


3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.


4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.


5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.


6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.


7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.


Women

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.


2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.


3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.


4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.


5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".


6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.


7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Grass Eater
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!"
"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"