B-egin Ur Day With

L-ove in Ur Heart

E-xpect Blessing

S-hare Goodness

S-hine Like d Sun

I-nspire Sum1

N-ever 4get That

G-OD is With u All d Time.$ ALL THE BEST.

"Look at the clock when you are sitting simply."
But never look at the clock when you are working...
Have a nice day take care...

Reason Why Never Visit a 5 Star Hotel
Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: " tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

The Ultimate Facts About Men and Women
Men

1. All men are extremely busy.


2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.


3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.


4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.


5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.


6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.


7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.


Women

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.


2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.


3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.


4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.


5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".


6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.


7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Correct timing to drink water, will maximize its effectiveness on the Human body.

Two (02) glass of water - After waking up - Helps activate internal organs
One (01) glasses of water - 30 minutes before meal - Help digestion

One (01) glass of water - Before taking a bath - Helps lower blood pressure
One (01) glass of water - Before sleep - To avoid stroke or heart attack

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?




Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates




Subject: Problems with my new computer




Dear Mr. Bill Gates,




We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.




1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.




2. One doubt is whether

any 're

-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.


3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.




4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?




5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?




6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that

.




7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.




8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?




9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.




Regards,
Banta






Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Amazing Calculations ...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS


Smart man + smart woman = romance


Smart man + dumb woman = affair


Dumb man + smart woman = marriage


Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy




OFFICE ARITHMETIC


Smart boss + smart employee = profit


Smart boss + dumb employee = production


Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion


Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime




SHOPPING MATH


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.


A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.




GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.


A successful woman is one who can find such a man.




HAPPINESS


To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.


To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.




LONGEVITY


Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.




PROPENSITY TO CHANGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.


A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.




DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE


A woman has the last word in any argument.


Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.






SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

World's shortest essay...!!

This is a story of a 16 year old boy from New Hampshire who won the
World's shortest essay competition.

He was awarded a scholarship at the University of Harvard for his
Imagination and humor ....Here's an example of absolute
Brilliance.. ..

Shortest Essay:

An English university creative writing class was asked to write a
Concise essay containing the following elements:


1) Religion 2) Royalty 3) Sex 4) Mystery




And……





-








-







-








-






-






The prize-winner wrote:



"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is."