Lessons in Logic
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.



...................................................................................



I was born intelligent -
Education ruined me.



...................................................................................




Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
So why practice?



...................................................................................




If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?



...................................................................................




Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.



...................................................................................




How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?



...................................................................................




Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.



...................................................................................




One should love animals.
They are so tasty.



.............................. .....................................................




Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.



...................................................................................




Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
Life.



...................................................................................




The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.



...................................................................................




Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.



...................................................................................




Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.



...................................................................................




"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep



...................................................................................




There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning



...................................................................................




"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk



...................................................................................




"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours



...................................................................................




God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.



...................................................................................




The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.




.......................................................................................



A bus station is where a bus stops.



A train station is where a train stops.



On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say........

Men VS Women (no offense)

How a man withdraws cash from ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away

-------------------------

How a woman withdraws cash from ATM:

1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for ½ mile
24) Release handbrake
25) Drive on..
Dreamz abt me..

The Ultimate Facts About Men and Women
Men

1. All men are extremely busy.


2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.


3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.


4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.


5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.


6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.


7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.


Women

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.


2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.


3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.


4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.


5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".


6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.


7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Grass Eater
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!"
"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"

Don't cheat, if you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at
the bottom.

1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green, or
yellow?

2. Your first initial?

3. Your month of birth?

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

5.. Name of a person of the same gender as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!)


Answers

1. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love..
Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.

2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good..

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long
but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major
life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your
soul mate.

4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at
the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the
change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6 This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7... If you chose:
Flying: You like adventure.
Driving: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one
hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next
birthday.

Interesting Aspects of Life Warren Buffet
There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:

He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
Very modest, eh? :)
He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
Well, did someone planning on doing evil thing after reading this? :P
He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world’s largest private jet company.
His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis. He has given his CEO’s only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any of your share holder’s money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch Television.
Bill Gates, the world’s richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk..
Who said we need to invest in high technology?
His advice to young people: ‘Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself and Remember:
A. Money doesn’t create man but it is the man who created money.
B. Live your life as simple as you are.
C. Don’t do what others say, just listen them, but do what you feel good.
D. Don’t go on brand name; just wear those things in which u feel comfortable.
E. Don’t waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who really in need rather.
F. After all it’s your life, then why give chance to others to rule our life.’

Here is how the Indian TV news channel NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.


Prashant - TV Anchor
Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

Amrita Shah
Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.

Prashant
Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?

Amrita
Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after
<Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack">

Prashant
What news of Jack and Jill?

Amrita
Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
<Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled">

Amrita
Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water.

Amrita
And what happened next?

Shahid Trivedi
Jack fell down and broke his crown

Amrita
Go on.

Shahid Trivedi
And Jill came tumbling after.

Amrita
Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant.
<Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Water errand ends in tragedy">

Prashant
I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?

Professor
Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we’re overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

Prashant
Professor! Thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons – Jack and Jill – went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan , President Bush says rent-boy menage-a-trois was "just a brief lapse of judgement", and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. We’ll be right back...

Correct timing to drink water, will maximize its effectiveness on the Human body.

Two (02) glass of water - After waking up - Helps activate internal organs
One (01) glasses of water - 30 minutes before meal - Help digestion

One (01) glass of water - Before taking a bath - Helps lower blood pressure
One (01) glass of water - Before sleep - To avoid stroke or heart attack

Diet for oily skin
Diet is a significant factor in the management and prevention of oily skin. A few dietary tips include:
A diet rich in proteins and restricted in sugar and salt should form the basis of dietary care of oily skin.
Green leafy vegetables and fresh fruit contain plenty of vitamins and other essential micronutrients and help by improving the integrity of skin.
Any deficiencies of minerals or vitamins should be corrected by administration of supplements and a balanced diet.
Rich sources of vitamins B5 and B2, such as wheat germ, whole grains, beans, nuts and buckwheat help rejuvenate skin.
Water intake should be high as well-hydrated skin is less prone to oiliness and infection.
High water intake also flushes out toxins that are present in the body.
Fats should be avoided in diet, especially from foods prepared in unhealthy fats such as fried and highly seasoned foods.
Healthy fats, such as from seafood or nuts, are good for skin and can be consumed in moderation.
Cooking should involve oil-free methods such as boiling, steaming, or poaching. Where it is impossible to cook without oil, opt for sauteeing or grilling over frying.
Junk food can become a major contributor to unhealthy skin and should be avoided along with alcoholic beverages.

Diet for oily skin
Diet is a significant factor in the management and prevention of oily skin. A few dietary tips include:
A diet rich in proteins and restricted in sugar and salt should form the basis of dietary care of oily skin.
Green leafy vegetables and fresh fruit contain plenty of vitamins and other essential micronutrients and help by improving the integrity of skin.
Any deficiencies of minerals or vitamins should be corrected by administration of supplements and a balanced diet.
Rich sources of vitamins B5 and B2, such as wheat germ, whole grains, beans, nuts and buckwheat help rejuvenate skin.
Water intake should be high as well-hydrated skin is less prone to oiliness and infection.
High water intake also flushes out toxins that are present in the body.
Fats should be avoided in diet, especially from foods prepared in unhealthy fats such as fried and highly seasoned foods.
Healthy fats, such as from seafood or nuts, are good for skin and can be consumed in moderation.
Cooking should involve oil-free methods such as boiling, steaming, or poaching. Where it is impossible to cook without oil, opt for sauteeing or grilling over frying.
Junk food can become a major contributor to unhealthy skin and should be avoided along with alcoholic beverages.